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Balance by ~Sorrows-Song:iconSorrows-Song:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open




It’s not the angle that matters
when you lie on your feet
and pretend you know how to bleed

there’s still something missing

you mark my steps
while I mark your words
but we’re still
unaccounted for

I walk away and pretend
you pushed me
you gather other people close
and pretend you don’t remember

we take odd, disconnected steps
around this puzzle
you still don’t know it’s shape

as always Im the only one
who sees through

these deeper things are
too far for you
but I can take this in
and compromise

You’re still you

you can be the sun
vibrant, demanding attention
I can be the moon
muted, strong

as long as you know
I don’t always dance in place

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconsorrows-song:

Author's Comments

The original title was going to be "shallow."
But the poem change a little toward the end and it only seem natural that the title did too.
Although it's still about a very shallow person that I (obviously) have mixed feelings about.
Sometimes I think Im too nice for my own good.

Comments


love 1 1 joy 2 2 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconjay-raven:
~Jay-Raven Jan 31, 2007, 2:39:52 PM
opposites attract you know.

--
evil geniuses don't need "witty sayings"
:iconsorrows-song:
~Sorrows-Song Jan 31, 2007, 8:24:23 PM
Hahahahaha, that's not always true

--
“We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places.”
- Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt
:iconlife-is-eternal:
Mood: Zest ~life-is-eternal Feb 1, 2007, 7:56:10 AM
Wow, that's really nice! good job! ^ ^

--
:damphyr: :butterflytwo: Life is not measured with how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
:iconsorrows-song:
~Sorrows-Song Feb 1, 2007, 9:48:48 AM
Thanks :XD: and thanks for faving it :heart:

--
“We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places.”
- Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt
:iconlife-is-eternal:
Mood: Zest ~life-is-eternal Feb 2, 2007, 7:41:47 AM
No problem!

--
:damphyr: :butterflytwo: Life is not measured with how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
:iconfriskyryski:
~friskyryski Feb 5, 2007, 12:12:20 PM
I really liked this stanza:

"I walk away and pretend
you pushed me
you gather other people close
and pretend you don’t remember"

Very true.

And, I really liked the part contrasting the sun and the moon, especially with the moon being described as both muted and strong. Nice job.

--
Rykki
:iconsorrows-song:
~Sorrows-Song Feb 5, 2007, 8:28:19 PM
Thanks so much. I really appreciate your comments! :D :heart:

--
“We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places.”
- Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt
:iconangelblak:
Mood: Awestruck ~AngelBLAK Feb 9, 2007, 9:26:01 AM
佳什ですね。An excellent poem. Keep it up!

--
To ask and endure a moment's humiliation, is better than to not ask, and suffer a lifetime of shame.
:iconsorrows-song:
~Sorrows-Song Feb 9, 2007, 4:38:08 PM
Thanks a ton! :XD: :heart:

--
“We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places.”
- Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt
:iconcryingpain:
~cryingpain Feb 15, 2007, 8:07:15 PM
Very good poem :thumbsup: :)

--
:frail:Every artist was first an amateur - 'Ralph Waldo Emerson':frail:
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